'I shattered referee conspiracy theory after watching 16 minutes of Fulham 0-0 Wolves'

Social media is awash with theories about Premier League matches in which Mike Dean might have been playing his silly little games. There have been strong calls for an investigation into the former referee. So Mirror Football has done the hard yards and looked at one of the most prominent theories – Fulham vs Wolves from the 2009/10 campaign.

A goalless draw at Craven Cottage in mid-April, Fulham were 12th in the table with no hope of Europe or relegation. They also had a UEFA Cup semi-final first-leg tie away to Hamburg five days later.

Wolves sat 14th, six points above the drop with four games to go. Both teams had one man up front and six of Wolves' starting XI were defenders.

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On paper, this could be the dream fixture to avoid blowing your whistle, coast around the centre circle in your flip flops and mentally plan your summer holidays.

But before I treated myself and became the first person globally to watch a re-run of this mouth-watering match-up, I checked the stats. Five attempts on goal between them, 14 corners, five offsides and most importantly, 20 fouls. Nine for Fulham, 11 for Wolves.

Now I'm thinking, surely all those offsides and fouls didn't come in the second half? Or at least after the 20th minute. But this is Mike Dean, so you can never count anything out.

Dean walks out of the tunnel in black boots and not beachwear, so that's a strong start. He's also got his whistle in his hand - but when will he blow it? We're about to find out.

The Wirral-born official gives the first foul he has the chance, just five-and-a-half minutes in, when Wolves' David Jones brings down Danny Murphy on Fulham's right-hand side. It's as blatant as they come.

There are lots of extravagant hand gestures in the minutes that follow between Dean and his assistant referees - does that signal that the game has now started?

The man in the middle has the chance to give Fulham attacker Zoltan Gera a free-kick in the eighth minute, close to the penalty area when he's clipped while twisting and turning, but instead plays an advantage.

Dean blows his whistle for a second time in the eighth minute for a foul throw when Wolves are attacking down their left, which earns linesman Simon Beck a mouthful from Mick McCarthy.

The ref then avoids blowing the whistle when Jones and Murphy clash heads on the 13th minute, with the ball looping out of play. The former has to go off for stitches with blood seeping out of his wound.

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However, any myth of Dean actively avoiding his whistle in this match is completely shut down when he blasts five short bursts to tell Fulham right-back Chris Baird where to take the resulting throw-in from.

Inmates in Guantanamo Bay are given kinder torture techniques than being made to watch this match and after Jody Craddock was penalised for climbing all over Bobby Zamora in the 16th minute, that was enough for me. Eight whistle blows in the first 16 minutes.

We can safely say that this theory is dead in the water, just like Mike Dean's hopes of ever getting a job with Pro Ref.